Monday, December 12, 2011

"Bisikleta"

I was probably 8 or 9 years old when I first learned how to ride a bike. Our housekeeper-slash-assistant-slash-helper-slash-my yaya (nanny) taught me how to ride. I don't know if my parents gave her specific instructions not to bring me outside of the house just to teach me to ride or maybe it was just my unfounded paranoia because I remember sneaking out with her in the middle of the day when the sun was out with such fierceness that I see steam rising from the cement roads. We only did this during the weekends right after lunch. I'd wait for her to finish up her duties then tidy up the kitchen before we leave. And we made sure my parents were in the bedroom or the living room having their siesta (afternoon rest or nap).

I think the sneaking out part was more exciting than the actual bike riding lessons. The lessons weren't too bad. I would hop onto the bike and she would hold the back side while I try to balance as I pedal. I learned very quickly but I lacked the confidence. I wanted her to run behind me and hold on my bike while I pedaled. Sometimes I'd see her in my peripheral view to make sure she was still there guiding me, holding the bike. Sometimes I won't see her at all and I would steal a glance backwards just to make sure she's still there and she was always behind me. She taught me and coaxed me while still holding on to the bike until my confidence increased. We did this for a couple more weekends and then she told me I was ready. Ready for what? I asked. For me to go on my own without her holding the bike as I ride. I protested. I asked her not to let go and  I demanded for her to always stay behind me and hold my bike. She said ok. End of conversation.

On the third or fourth weekend, as we planned to sneak out again after lunch, I was still very excited about the whole thing. As usual, I'd hopped on to my bike and I would start to pedal while still making sure my yaya was behind me. I loved to feel the wind in my hair, the sun blazing down on me and the pavement passing by me oh so swiftly. I was riding my bike! Then I heard a loud sound coming from a big horn. A huge truck was coming on towards me from behind! Fast! So fast that I can feel the trembling of its tires on the cemented road. I started feeling scared, my heart was thumping so hard and my balance started to waver. I glanced back to look at the oncoming truck when I suddenly realized I was riding alone! My yaya was far behind and running towards me. I panicked, all of my confidence now gone. I didn't know what to do! My bike started to wobble a little because of my panic and the handle bars was shaking so hard from left to right. I tried to keep it steady and to focus on the road ahead. There's plenty of room for a bike and a truck on one lane, right? Then I felt the rush of wind with such power on my left side as the truck passed me by. I was ok! I was safe! And I was still riding my bike, all by myself!

That was one lesson I will never forget for as long as I live. As my yaya came near me, screaming on how proud she was of my accomplishment, I felt angry at her for a moment. I felt she abandoned me. I thought she betrayed me as she left me alone. But she was so happy with my success and as she explained how she can't catch up with me anymore because I was pedaling so fast that she had to let me go that's when I understood she really didn't want to leave me or to have me harmed in any way. She still wanted to hold on to me but at the same time she also wanted to see me ride on my own. After that day, we didn't sneak out anymore. I told my parents that I already know how to ride my bike and they were happy for me but they told me no more main roads or highways. I must stay only within the neighborhood paths. I complied. 

"Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." -Deuteronomy 31:6 

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" -Psalms 27:1 

"So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me." -Hebrews 13:6

With God, don't we feel like we're riding a bike most of the time like novices? God provides us with all the tools we need in order for us to have His knowledge and wisdom, to learn from the Bible and to mature in our walk with Him but there are times when it feels like we're going to lose our balance and our confidence seems to grow thin amidst discouragements and fears. Then we think we're alone in our sufferings and pain. Those are BIG lies! Blatant lies from the biggest liar of all time -Satan. And on top of those lies, we sometimes feel that we can pedal so fast that we don't need help anymore. We feel that the wind in our hair and the pleasures of the ride will last forever and ever. Until we're faced with danger. And then life happens. This is when we begin to look for God all over again. We scramble not to fall. We're not too great on our own after all, are we?

Most of the time, we do know how to ride our bikes. We've got the balancing thing down and we can pedal with no problems. We've been riding long enough to have that bike almost like a part of ourselves. We don't need to worry when adversities come our way. When we are faced with humongous trucks coming on towards us, we've got it! And this is not because of our skills or talents nor of our intelligence or power, it is from God. He promised never to leave us nor forsake us. Jesus is our light and our salvation, and He is our strength and our helper. Sometimes we might feel that we're riding alone but no, those are the times when God has our bike, our pedals, our path, our confidence, our worries and our life all held together in His loving hands. And surely, He will never ever let go.

2 comments:

  1. This is an excellent post Mara; you weave your tales well! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a very peaceful New Year.

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  2. Thanks, Tim. And may you enjoy this holiday season and have a blessed, joyful Christmas! It's a glorious occasion indeed! And have a beautiful 2012! =)

    ReplyDelete

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